I have a crashing headache yet again, so I am going to make this short, kind of.
My six-year-old Becca recently let me in on a little secret. She ranks her friends. I am more than a little disturbed by this. The only friend that doesn't move around in the ranks is her best friend since she was three. This friend gets to be number one. I don't think she tells her friends their rankings it's just her own little friend filing system that she keeps to her self.
Last week one of her friends slipped to number 7 because she told Becca she was not funny at all. Apparently this is an insult to Becca. If you insult her you get rearranged. If you are nice or she just happens to see you more often that week you get booted up the list. It's a constant fluctuating phenomenan.
I know this is a horrible thing to confess about your daughter. It almost sounds like something off the "Mean Girls" movie. I just can't fathom where this friend ranking thing came from. Is this normal for six-year-old girls? What should I do? Should I have a friendly talk with her or just let her outgrow it? Of course it may just be that she is a number oriented girl. She could add before she could read. I am completely confused about what to do here. At least there is only one of me so I get to be her number 1 Mom.
6 comments:
If all she is doing is ranking them and keeping it to herself, be grateful! Little girls can get much worse than that. Mine is a sweetheart, but I do remember elementary school! Oh and Paradise Pie is from Chili's, maybe not one of my 4 faves, but hey, I'm PMS and really craving it okay!
Wow, this is a hard one. I would definitly make sure she is keeping this to herself, that is all you need is this going on at school and girls feeling bad. I would probibly talk to her and get to the root of it. Ask her how she would feel if she found out she was ranked low on someone elses list. Good luck with this. Girls are so hard and I have already had to deal with too much with Ash and her friends.
And this is why I have only boys-I'm so not good at this stuff. But I am dealing with a lot of lying from Michael. I just keep telling myself that setting an example of how we treat others is the best thing we can do. I have a lot of work to do in that area!
Speaking from experience I would get to the bottom of this imediately! If you let this go, by high school, things could turn really ugly. I know it's sounds like it's far away, but it's closer than you think. Girls in Jess's high school are so cruel and about such stupid things, like the clothes you wear and the car you drive and even who you hang out with. Jess has learned to get a thick skin when it comes to those things but it took a lot of months crying and pain to get to that point. it's really important to teach our kids young not to judge others but to except them for who they are. It's only natural for her to do this, but it's something that needs correcting. I'm always asking me girls about this sort of stuff to make sure they don't get caught up in this way of thinking. It's hard though because they see so many things on TV telling them that it's ok to be this way. Just keep talking to her about it, in a understanding way. You'll do a great job because your a great mom!
As long as it is for you and her only. I think we have all done this at some point in our lives and maybe still do it. I'm not saying that I do but think about your closest friends growing up you have to have a number 1, 2, & 3. I think she'll be ok as long as they are still her friends and they don't know where they rank. At least she only moved the girl down to 7th and not off the list.
Hmmm, I am stumped on this one. I remember thinking some friends where closer to me on some days and not on others because of the way they treated me, but I never ranked them. Maybe it is just her way of judging how she feels about someone. But I think Steph is right. All girls need to be taught not to judge at a young age and maybe now is a good time to bring that up.
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